no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
