Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
