hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
