dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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