I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
time to smoke my breakfast
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
