what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
