just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
