That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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