After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
