dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
