i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
