Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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