New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
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I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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