First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
