sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
