Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
