so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
