i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
