I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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