I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
