You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
