im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
