She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
