@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
