Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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