Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
