I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
