those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
