Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
