You made me cry and you don't even care
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Congratulations! We have a period
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