watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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