The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
