Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
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