Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
