My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
