please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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