dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
