someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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