I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
