I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
