Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
