She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity