That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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