if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
