She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
