not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
