I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
