I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
