Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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