this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
