he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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