you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
