It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
