Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
