Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
