i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
