Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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