I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
