Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
