dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Congratulations! We have a period
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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