Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize