I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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