No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
