He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
