its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
