I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
