Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I cut my penus on the lid.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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