And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
