I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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