I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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