Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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