i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
