think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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